Steve Job, founder of Apple, died this week of pancreatic cancer. He was truly a genius, an excellent leader and visionary, and had a remarkable backstory. I didn't know all that much about him previously, but that night I watched his commencement speech for Stanford in 2005, and then heard it on the radio 3 times since that night. His advice is shockingly similar to how my Steve leads his life. I became just a little bit more proud of Steve after watching that video.
The person I kept thinking about though, was Randy Pausch. Randy also died of pancreatic cancer in 2008. He was a professor at Carnegie Melon and was asked to give "A Last Lecture" for the college. Ironically, this would actually be his last lecture. The talk is about living your childhood dreams and was really a way to give his advice to his three small children. If you do not know his story or have seen the lecture, you really just HAVE to do that now:
The Last Lecture
Sure, it's an hour and fifteen minutes, but it is life changing! He also wrote a book that is also entitled, "The Last Lecture" and I re-read it last night. I forgot at just how much great advice is in the book.
Some of my favorite parts:
I won the parent lottery - He had a great family life with just amazing parents. I want to be that kind of parent to my boys more than anything else in this world. I hope I can succeed.
There are two types of families: Those that need a dictionary to get through dinner and those that don't. - Again, I hope this is the culture that my family will have.
"This is my son. He's a doctor, but not the kind who helps people." - That is a quote from Randy's mother, and he was using it in a context of valuing not being too boastful. He said that her job was to not let his head get too big. I know I do that for Steve all the time (maybe too much).
The Elevator in the Ranch House...If your kids want to paint their bedrooms, as a favor to me, let them do it. It'll be OK. Don't worry about the resale value of the house. - Randy painted all kinds of random things on his bedroom wall (the quadratic equation, a rocket ship, an elevator, etc.). The fact that he was allowed to express his personality on his walls really meant a lot to him, and he loved going back to his childhood room to relive that time in his life. I think it is so romantic that there would even be a childhood room to go back to. That is so rare in today's society. Randy, I promise, I will let my kids paint their walls! Or whatever, "painting their walls" means to my boys.
When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you. - I have a personal story here that I will share with my boys in the book that I will make from this blog.
On giving children self-esteem...It's not something you can give; it's something they have to build. Only one way to teach kids how to develop it: You give them something they can't do, they work hard until they can find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process. - Brilliant.
The Man in the Convertible - This is a story about someone seeing a man in a convertible, tapping his fingers to the music, just seeming to be loving life in that moment. She gets a better look at the driver and it was Randy Pausch just days after he had found out that he was dying (3-6 month prognosis). She knew his situation and was just in awe of the fact that he could be so genuinely happy in the face of that devastating news. She relayed the story to Randy via email and that is how he found out about it. It meant a lot to him knowing that his "live like you are dying" attitude was genuine and not just a front to impress people. I hope that I live a very long life, but Steve and I both make sure that we are living each day to the fullest because you never know just how long you have left. You have to make sure you are generally happy living your everyday life. Steve Jobs also had this as one of his key points.
Dream Big - Personally I have never been a big dreamer. I am more of a realist. But having kids makes me want them to have big dreams. I look at Mason and see the endless possibilities that lie ahead for him. He can change the world. I can help. I am sure I will feel that way about Alex too, but he is still too small to show me his personality.
Let's Make a Deal - His story has to do with making a deal with his mom that he would be allowed to lean back in his chair at the table, she would stop nagging, but if the chair ever broke, he would have to replace all the chairs. Deal. Steve and I like to make deals instead of compromises too. When you compromise nobody gets what they want. When you make a deal, both parties are happy.
The Lost Art of Thank-You Notes - I had to add this one for Steve. He is the king of thank you notes, and yes, they have gotten him very far.
No Job is Beneath You - I love this one - If you are a ditch-digger, be the best ditch-digger you can be. That is just great advice.
All You Have To Do Is Ask - This has worked for me professionally like a charm. I probably don't use it enough in my personal life. Seriously, it is as simple as asking for what you want, and many times you will get it. It is amazing to me how many people just don't ask. It seems as if they would rather complain and make assumptions.
Make a Decision: Tigger or Eeyore - This probably doesn't need explaining right? You choose to be happy or sad. I always choose to be happy. I find it so much easier.
