I get the package in a couple of days and think that I am so looking forward to a good laugh. But when I opened the package it was the wrong book. I received The Circle. Some feel-good yoga healing blah blah type of crappy book I would never have been interested in. I send a short and simple email to the seller asking them to send the right book. No response. A couple days later, a slightly longer, meaner email. No response. A couple days later, an email through Amazon's website. No response. By now I have given up but just looking at the book made me mad over the past two weeks.
In the mean time my Dad had sent me a book, The New Good Life, by John Robbins. I loved every word in that book. I devoured it. For the first time in my life, I underlined quotes in that book. It just spoke to me at exactly the right time. There is something about being on maternity leave that makes you question your life. And right now I am screaming to move out of Vegas. I think a few things happened all at once. Quite a few of my friends have moved away over the past 6 months or so because of the lousy economy or for new jobs (including my mom). Steve is not happy at his job - if you could even call it a job. It is more like volunteer work! I like my job and am more than grateful to have a good paying stable job. But often I feel that I have the "golden handcuffs" and I can't ever leave because of the retirement. Then having another boy makes me realize how much they are going to miss by living in Las Vegas. Mostly recreation and schooling comes to mind.
So I get to really considering how we could move. Where would we move to? When could we? Why would we? Would it be any better or am I just getting restless being in this house all day? etc. etc.
I keep glancing at this crappy book that I got that actually makes me a little anxious with it sitting next to me. I don't like it when I get screwed - even if I was only out 7 dollars. It just eats at me. I decide to open it up and see what the book is about. I think, maybe I will read it - even out of spite, so that my 7 dollars wasn't wasted.
Oh my goodness! The book is all about how there are no coincidences and how many things happen all at once and you have to open your mind to hearing the message. Now I did skim through all the flowery mumbo jumbo about meditating and joining your power with others. Yuck. That stuff makes me want to throw up. But the gist of the book couldn't have struck me harder. I am not religious - but this is as close to a "sign" as I think I will ever get. I mean I wasn't even supposed to get this book - it was just thrown in my lap - and it was exactly the words that I needed to hear at the time I was ready to listen to them.
I do think my true happiness will be when I am surrounded by trees, streams, mountains; where I can wear my hair in a pony tail every day; where I can completely outfit my closet from REI; where I won't have to pay $2,000/month for private school; where Steve can pursue his life passions; where friends get together to play cards instead of go to bars; where you don't have to be afraid to open the door to someone knocking. I could go on and on, but I think I have made my point.
I am totally inspired right now and I hope this life will come true for me one day!!!
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